Here are some resources if you self-harm, are in crisis or know someone who self-harms. None of these resources were made by me because the people who made them have done a much better work than I could. I will add more resources as I find useful ones.

If you would like to learn more about self-injury, I highly recommend the Cornell Research Program on Self-Injury and Recovery’s website. They are passionate people who research self-harm and provide many resources for any type of situation.

Video about the proposed criteria in the DSM-5:

If you are in crisis

International suicide hotlines

If you self-harm

The Person-Centered Model of Self-Injury Recovery

If you know someone who self-harm

Here is an excellent article about how to help someone with self-harm. It gives many advice and explain why you should not force someone to stop self-harming if they have not found alternatives yet.

Remember self-harm, except if the injuries are extremely serious which is usually not the case, is an attempt at dealing with an issue or negative emotions. So the priority to help this person is to solve the underlying issues and to help them better manage their emotions. Self-harm is like a crutch, if the broken leg is not healed or the person does not have an alternative to the crutch they will not be able to walk. Moreover, as a parent, a friend, a partner, ask yourself: what matters most? That your loved one has a few superficial injuries or that they are extremely unhappy? You may ask what is the point of this blog, if self-harm is not really an issue. Another analogy would be to see self-harm as an alarm. When there is a fire, the main issue is obviously the fire. But if you do not even hear the alarm you will not discover the fire until it is too late. Self-harm is rather similar. It is not the main issue, but it is an obvious sign that there is an issue and this sign should not be ignored. So the goal is to learn to detect the alarm while also learning about other disorders and illnesses to better help.

Here is another reason why people should still have the choice to self-harm:

“In order for individuals to make the choice between further acts of self-harm or developing alternatives, the choice needs to remain open. If staff ensure complete safety in the short term, as we attempted to do when the unit was first opened, this choice is removed, and in our experience this makes progress difficult. The acceptance of responsibility by the resident helps staff to be clear about who owns the problem.”

“Self-harm, as we have learned from experience during the early months of the unit’s existence, is impossible to extinguish by the traditional methods of close supervision and prevention. The most that can be achieved is to reduce either the frequency or the severity, since patients continue to harm themselves secretively or in subtle ways, or gain harm through their contact with staff, and also revert immediately to full self-harm as soon as the restrictions are removed. They have made it clear to us on many occasions that in most cases self-harm is not about death, but rather a means of continuing to live.

Through discussion with the hospital we have negotiated an approach which is based on harm minimization rather than abstinence. In practice this translates into a tolerance of self-harm, within limits, whilst enabling residents to find alternative, healthier, means to communicate and cope.”

(Crowe, M., & Bunclark, J. (2000). Repeated self-injury and its management. International Review of Psychiatry, 12, pp. 48-53.)